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ASolitaryHumanVoice

作者:www.ruishiye.com  时间:2018-07-03

 
     
      A SOLITARY1 HUMAN VOICE
     
We are air, we are not earth...
     
-- M. MamardashviliI don't know what I should talk about -- about death or about love? Or are they the same? Which one should I talk about?We were newlyweds. We still walked around holding hands, going to the store. I would say to him, "I love you." But I didn't know then how much. I had no idea... We lived in the dormitory of the fire station where he worked. On the second floor. There were three other young couples, we all shared a kitchen. On the first floor they kept the trucks. The red fire trucks. That was his job. I always knew what was happening—where he was, how he was.One night I heard a noise. I looked out the window. He saw me. "Close the window and go back to sleep. There's a fire at the reactor3. I'll be back soon." the flames. Everything was radiant. The whole sky. A tall flame. And smoke. The heat was awful. And he's still not back.The smoke was from the burning bitumen4, which had covered the roof. He said later it was like walking on tar2. They tried to beat down the flames. They kicked at the burning gr as they were, in their shirt sleeves. No one told them. They had been called for a fire, that was it. To plant potatoes. It's forty kilometers from Pripyat to Sperizhye, where his parents live. Sowing, plowing5 -- he loved to do that. His mother always told me how they didn't want him to move to the city, for him. He was drafted into the army. He served in the fire brigade in Moscow and when he came out, he wanted to be a fireman. And nothing else! Sometimes it's as though I hear his voice. Alive. Even photographs don't have the same effect on me as that voice. But he never calls to me...not even in my dreams. I'm the one who calls to him.Seven o'clock. At seven I was told he was in the hospital. I ran there, but the police had already encircled it, and they weren't letting anyone through. Only ambulances.The policemen shouted: The ambulances are radioactive, stay away!I wasn't the only one there,;I started looking for a friend, she was a doctor at that hospital. I grabbed her white coat when she came out of an ambulance. "Get me inside!""I can't. He's bad. They all are."I held on to her. " to see him!""All right," she said. & with me. for fifteen or twenty minutes."I saw him. He was all swollen6 and puffed

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